Hi, my name is Tuming Lee, and I am here to annihilate some dating myths. Here they are in no order of importance. Read, learn and understand these myths and this will help you to identify their symptoms which are usually as a result of low self esteem coupled with bad relationship patterns that has resulted in you wanting nothing to do with men. I am here to tell you that no matter what you think men may have done to you in the past, history has no reason to repeat itself if you arm yourself with this knowledge that I am about to impart. If you pay attention to my teachings, I have this to say to you, “The future looks promising.”

1. Successful Women Intimidate Men

This is false because we see successful women hooking up with great guys and getting married to them all the time. I am here to tell you that the real reason why you are successful and not dating or in a successful relationship is because you chase men away with your confused psychological state and subliminal communication. As a result men find you dry, monotonous and annoying due to your uptight nature. Don’t despair just yet, because you can learn to change this by paying attention to the verbal cues that you emit whenever you are in a difficult situation with a man. Two scenarios usually unfold when a successful women is confronted by a difficulty. I am going to paint these scenarios as clearly as I can, to bring this myth closer to home because I know a lot of you are in denial and want to prove me wrong.

Scenario #1

• The man approaches, you size him up to determine if he is your type.
• The guy passes the test, you agree to date and the relationships progresses beyond the short term.
• Everything is hunky dory and the couple can’t seem to be getting enough of each other.
• Once the honey phase is over, the guy starts to relax and readjusts back into his life with the guys.
• The woman starts getting resentful and jealous of her man’s friends and immediately goes into panic mode.
• She devises a smart plan to keep the man interested and to stop him from spending more time with his buddies
• She proposes that they move in together, to grow closer
• The man doesn’t like the idea very much and suggest they take it slow
• The woman gets mad, the man gets mad,
• The relationship takes the first real knock and cracks starts to show
• The woman insists of spending more time together
• The man gets more annoyed because he wants to maintain his independence
• The woman takes it as a personal rejection of her and the nagging escalates
• The man becomes more irritable and requests a break or space to think things through
• The woman breaks down in tears and begs him to stay
• The man finds her clingy behaviour repulsive and unattractive
• The man starts paying attention to other girls who seem more interesting
• The new girl is able to sustain the attraction of her new man
• The man gets careless and starts leaving a trail about his other affairs all over the apartment
• The successful woman goes through his personal belongings
• The successful woman calls the girl and confronts the man
• He denies everything and the successful woman gets more insecure
• She gives him the, “it’s either me or her” ultimatum
• The relationship dies and the successful lady ends up alone again

Scenario #2

The second scenario is more or less the same except here the successful woman has had many love knocks and she has decided to settle for whatever she can get…Beggars can’t be choosers right?

• She picks a loser from the streets who can’t keep a job
• She invites her into her space and introduces him to friends and family as the new man in her life.
• She tells them that this one is different and she has a good feeling about him.
• She performs one of the riskiest stunts a woman can ever pull
• Switching roles with a lazy man.
• She becomes the provider, while he takes on the role of lover and home keeper
• She provides food, shelter and stability and he provides love, care and warmth in the bedroom
• The arrangement goes well for the longest time until the man starts breaking some rules.
• The first rule to break is the curfew, he goes sole-partying with her car and returns very late
• He invites his friends over for a soccer match and doesn’t clean up after them
• The love, care and warm takes a dive and the woman is desperate to fix things
• She gives more and more in the attempt to make him happy and nothing changes
• She starts reminding him that he eats her, sleeps her and drive her etc.
• Just like in Beyonce’s song Irreplaceable, the situation gets so unbearable
• That the woman tells the man to, “drop them keys and hurry up before the taxi leaves.”
• The successful woman is alone all over again

You see the ending in both situations is the same because the woman is left lonely, crying and clueless as to what she is doing wrong. Once the focus accumulates as to why she is without a man, she tells them, “Men don’t approach me because I am successful.” Yes you may be intimidating to those that do not approach you, but we are talking about those that pay you attention and you end up dating. We are talking about men who found you irresistible once upon a time and left you crying. These men are your clues as to why your relationships follow a similar pattern. Don’t say these men weren’t your type, this defense doesn’t hold with me because if they weren’t you would not have dated them. You may have done it out of insecurity and loneliness but we are not going to focus too much on this because we are not looking at reasons why you dated them, we are looking at reasons why the relationships failed.