Tag Archives: speed dating

Salsa not Speed Dating in 2012

Posted by on March 9, 2012 No comments

Salsa classes by Thabo Moloto @ Canto Latino, Rivonia Square JohannesburgIn the past I’ve written many articles about speed dating including a free ebook. Compared to online dating or worse yet, sms dating, speed dating is the preferred choice if you find yourself having to pay for assistance in meeting people.

As for me, I prefer going to a salsa class, a mall or a lounge/bar like Newscafe. The alternative is to make friends and grow your social circle.

Just to be clear on my current view on speed dating events. I’ve ended my formal working relationship with Serena Grobler, the owner of Fastdate. She’s turned out to be the most unreliable person. She often keeps her phone off for days and there is no way I can recommend her speed dating events to you on this forum or anyone else.

The same goes for SMARTdate, run by Jenny Cereseto. I have not seen or spoken to her in about 2 years. She’s own her own mission. Last time we spoke she was trying to sell the business to someone else because she was bored with running speed dating events.

So here’s my conclusion. Speed dating events are good in theory while they suck in reality. The quality of the women are low. The guys are losers. The events mostly lack energy because the hosts don’t have a clue about social dynamics. Your money is much better spent on a salsa class.

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Speed dating wasn’t fast enough meeting the Baroness

Posted by on February 11, 2008 No comments

There was a young man called Ramon
who was tired of being alone.
Imagine his stress
when a man in a dress
blew him kisses and followed him home.

How many of you have encountered a man dressed up like a woman? Aha! Fortunately it’s only happened once in my life ? so far.

A few years ago I attended the first ever speed dating event held in South Africa in Melrose Arch. I read on a website that an SABC3 was going to record the evening’s events. So I jumped at the opportunity to be on tv ? I mean after all who does not want to be on tv? Normally I don’t do skydiving or bungee jumping but doing this was a very big thrill for me.

How speed dating works is as follows: you normally have 10 guys and 10 girls. The girls sit down on tables and the guys rotate after 5 minutes so they are guaranteed to meet all the woman ? as you know this does not always happen in a bar.

The Baroness Coral von ReefenhausenAnyway I moved around on a few dates and low and behold I faced the Baroness. The camera crew swooped in to capture the moment. As I sat down and she/he extended her hand, ?Well, well, well… aren’t you a handsome fellow…? Why thank you was my quick reply. ?Tell me…Ramon…where would we go on a first date..,? was her next question. This is where I had to think really, really fast. ?Oh maybe we’d go on a picnic, so we have lots of time to talk and get to know each other.? Those 5 minutes felt like an eternity with the Baroness.

My next speed dating event was a huge improvement. Popular Johannesburg radio station 94.7 Highveld Stereo ran a special competition for Valentine’s Day 2005, which turned out to be the biggest speed dating event ever. We had over 50 people and you could smell the excitement in the air. Because of the amount of people we were split into two groups, and Fastdate, hosted the function. This lead to use being split up into two groups. Now as I entered the building going upstairs where the event was taking place. I was followed by a gorgeous girl with a big smile. She had a certain energy about her, a girly, bubbly type, which so many women over 30 seem to loose. As we reached the 2nd floor, a table full of small champagne bottles waited for us. I grabbed mine without a straw as usual. This girl, Lauren, took hers and innocently placed the straw in hers. The gas in the champagne reacted and almost like a volcano this thing erupted….”Oops! I did it again”, Was the expression on her face and she giggled her shy hello. We hit it off later on and I left the venue with a kiss and a her cellphone number tucked safely in my back pocket. So in fact I broke the rules, because I didn’t bother completing the speed dating forms, evaluating all the other women.

If you’re keen on trying speed dating start by download my speed dating ebook, The ABC of Speed Dating.

Speed Dating 101

Posted by on August 14, 2007 1 comment

Here’s an excellent video clip from Youtube on Speed Dating. If you want some help improving your success in speed dating download my new ebook, The ABC’s of Speed Dating.

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Speed Dating Cheat Sheet

Posted by on August 22, 2005 No comments

The simplest definition of speed dating is dating intensified. Instead of three hours, you have three minutes; instead of one date, you are dating fifteen people. It is up to you to up your game. But in the next few minutes I will tell you how.

I do not need to tell you how nerve-wrecking a normal date is. So, I would not blame you if you were bordering on petrified before going to a speed dating event. There is actually less reason to be nervous, because the chances of impressing one person out of fifteen are considerably easier than just one out of one. The key is even if you are about to melt into a puddle of mush on the floor, that you don’t look like you are about to melt into a puddle of mush on the floor.

Easier said than done.

Be aware of the body language you are sending out. Don’t hunch over, giggle nervously or avoid eye-contact. Remember your manners. Chances are your partner is equally nervous, so they will understand the odd nervous snort. But you need to show them that under the nervousness is a self-assured you.

Have something to eat before the event. Just avoid the garlic, please. Eating may help to settle the butterflies partying in your stomach. You may also be tempted to have the odd drink to settle the nerves. That’s all good and well – the food will just help prevent the easy-going you from being the person who everyone will remember as having gotten motherless at the last speed dating event.

If you are one of those people who talk incessantly and at the rate of a fighter jet when you get nervous, don’t. Don’t blurt out embarrassing family secrets, don’t ask impulsive sexual questions, don’t lie, and please – oh, please – don’t start the conversation on politics, death, your alien abduction or probing questions around religion. That is one surefire way to kill any romantic mood.

Have a prepared list of questions and interesting, but not controversial, topics ready. Even just knowing it is there in your bag or in your back pocket is enough to make you feel a little less panicked. That doesn’t mean that those are the only things that you may talk about. The list is there purely as a backup, and as a source of interesting conversations when the “So, what do you do for a living?” conversation gets a little tired.

Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Just one last thing. Like Cell C says, if they wanted your phone in the movie they would have put it there. Switch it off during speed dating!

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Speed dating virgin

Posted by on January 6, 2005 No comments

by Nomfundo Mbaba

I walked into Cubana, the venue for the speed dating event in Cape Town, and I immediately began to feel the butterflies in my stomach. It’s one thing going on a blind date, but going on blind dates with 15 men is a whole other ball game

That’s how speed dating works. A certain number of men and the same number of women have quick one on one date of five minutes or less. They chat, socialise and hope for a love connection.

Meeting the Potentials

On this night I was ready for anything. I approached my seating area and was relieved to meet two other women who would be dating the same men I would date. Caroline and Samantha are siblings. As a working single mom, Caroline doesn’t have time to meet guys, so trying out speed dating is the next best thing. Samantha is single too, but she came with her sister for moral support. Meeting a man would just be an added bonus.

On this date the three of us sat in our little area and the men would come to us; rotating until they had dated every women in the room.

It wasn’t until five dates later that my butterflies disappeared and were replaced with a mental block of: What do I say next? I have already asked the same questions over and over. And I have responded to the same questions over and over: What do you do? Where do you live? Is it your first time here? Blah, blah, blah.

“Was five minutes enough time to truly connect with somebody?” I wondered to myself.

Speeding ahead

By the time I was with guy number 13, I couldn’t remember who guy number two was and what he did for a living. My only saving grace was a card the organisers had given me at the beginning of the evening where I could fill out the person’s speed dating number (e.g. guy number five). I could write brief notes to remind myself of who interested me and write a big HELL NO next to the number of the person who was not to my liking.

Possible match?

I think it was guy number seven who interested me and made a lasting impression. He told me my boots were nice. He was the only one who noticed my new shoes or even made a comment. And because I am a shoe-aholic (one who is addicted to shoes), I was very pleased. We had made a connection. Not a love connection, just a shoe connection.

The following day when I filled out my online card at www.speeddater.co.za (doesn’t exist anymore so try www.smartdate.co.za instead) with my favourites, guy number seven was one of them. Even though I had made no love connection with anybody there, I was curious and eager to see who had chosen me. There were three “matches”. I had strategically cast my date net wide, so three matches out of 12 was not so bad.

Unconventional Success Story

This Speed dating thing turned out to be a not-so-bad move. I met a lot of interesting people and began to enjoy it as the evening went on.

I’ve told my single friends about it and I hope to go with them next time (if I’m still single).
Even if I did not meet a soul mate, I do have a success story. Guy number seven has become a good friend. He is still single, so if there are any single women out there let me know so I can hook you up with a very sweet man.

We recommend SMARTdate speed dating events in South Africa