Tag Archives: evan marc katz

The Cyber Cyrano

Posted by on July 16, 2010 No comments


The world of internet dating can be fraught. But, for a fee, a ghost writer will rewrite your online profile with the promise of making you more attractive to others. How does it work?

These modern-day cupids are popping up across the internet. They specialise in ghost writing witty, charming, flirtatious messages on behalf of single men and women unwilling, unable or too busy to do it themselves.

“We’ve noticed a definite trend with more and more of these companies springing up- and there is a huge demand,” says Mark Brooks, editor of Online Personals Watch, a site that tracks internet dating trends.

Clients usually come to these online-dating outsourcing companies because their own attempts to find love in cyberspace just aren’t getting results. Many want to avoid the rejection they feel when their lovingly-crafted messages go unanswered.

“Necessity is the mother of invention,” says Evan Marc Katz, who has worked as a dating coach since 2003 and runs e-cyrano.com, one of the first of this new breed of companies. “There are a surprising number of people out there who don’t know how to market themselves in an original way.”

He stresses that his clients are not losers, but are typically successful, professional and well-rounded people. So what qualifies someone to set themselves up as a dating expert?

“I did online dating myself for years with great success and I worked as a customer-care representative for an online dating company,” says Mr Katz, who is now happily married.

Every date brings financial rewards for the ghost writers, who compare themselves to salesmen, telemarketers and, in some cases, poets. Some offer their services in a range of languages.

Working for a set fee, the companies interview their clients at length over the phone. Using this information, they then write the initial “sell”, the blurb which online daters use to advertise themselves. Many also provide tips and advice on how to optimise your appeal to fellow daters.

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Should I stay with my boyfriend if he’s a Pickup Artist?

Posted by on July 1, 2008 1 comment

Evan Marc Katz dating coach authorThis is a very important question from a woman who is dating a guy who wants to be a pickup artist teacher aka a dating coach for men. I have communicated with Evan Marc Katz after reading his first book, I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book: A Common Sense Guide to Internet Dating. He is sharp, very witty and is the most congruent mainstream dating coach I have come across. His advice for both men and women is solid although after his 2nd book, Why You’re Still Single, his slant has turned more to advice for women.

You will notice a link in this blog post about him meeting Neil Strauss a while ago. I place that link below this reader question.

Here’s the question:

Hello Evan,

I’ve been exclusively dating a nice guy for almost eight months now. We’ve had good times together and he is always there for me when I need him. The thing is, before he met me, he was very promiscuous. (I don’t have a lot of dating experience.) He’s very into how men attract women and how they market themselves on the dating scene. When we watch movies with a relationship plotline, he takes care to tell me what the man is doing right/wrong. He wishes to have a motivational speaking career or a relationship counseling career when he graduates

What bothers me is that he wants to teach guys how to attract women. The worst thing is that he says he wants to practice picking up women and getting numbers in order to be able to teach them. He says he’s not going to use the numbers or anything but he wants to practice so he can teach others and so he gains credibility as an attraction expert. He asked me if that was OK with me. I’m not stupid, and this bothers me a lot. He’s told me that he’s not going to do it since it bothers me, but this is the 3rd time he’s asked this question. He told me not to tell my friends that he asked the question, because they would probably think it was weird. I want to know how or IF I can get him to curb his flirtatious ways.  I’ve explained to him how important it is to me but he doesn’t seem to get it. I want our relationship to work. Is he just not a one-woman man?

Read Evan’s full response on his blog…

When Evan Katz met Neil Strauss he wrote one of the most unbiased reports about the book, The Game, I have come across since this controversial book was published a few years ago. For the record I now permanently have en “open relationship” as per my Facebook profile because I do not want to lead on any woman who meets me. It’s take or leave it with me.

So what do you guys who are in relationships tell your woman?

The art and science of a dating coach

Posted by on May 25, 2008 No comments

Evan Marc Katz dating coachLove mentors in demand among rich, educated groups

By Karin Zeitvogel

Americans invented the personal trainer to get physically fit and the career coach to give them a leg-up on the professional ladder.

But once they had hauled their size zero bodies and rippling abs to the very top of the career tree, and paused to allow their fancy to turn to thoughts of love, they realised they were out on a limb.

Enter the dating coach.

Unlike a traditional matchmaker, a dating coach will not arrange a tryst for you, but is “a personal trainer for people who want to fall in love,” one of the pioneers of the genre, Evan Katz, said.

“You have to do the work, you have to lift the weights, but I will guide you to make sure you don’t hurt yourself,” said Katz, who has been coaching people to successful love lives for five years.

His client pool is unlikely to dry up any time soon because, according to Katz, there are tens of millions of single people out there.

The people who employ the services of a dating coach tend to be educated, hard-working and relatively high up on the socio-economic ladder, not least because fees for the service are relatively high and not reimbursed by health insurance, coach Jennifer Viemont said.

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Why You’re Still Single by Evan Marc Katz

Posted by on June 21, 2006 No comments

Why You're Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get MadThere’s no way around it: dating today is tough. And once you have a few bad experiences under your belt, old habits set in, undermining self-esteem and the confidence to plunge back into the dating scene. The authors of Why You’re Still Single seek to remedy these dating doldrums, attacking the problem from the male and female perspective, helpful suggestions on turning negatives into positive, mutually reinforcing attributes.

For example: Listen to your feelings; trust your intuition and don’t be blinded by your desire for a relationship before you vet the emotional availability and responses of the other person. That person cannot fulfill all your emotional needs and shouldn’t be expected to bear that burden. Take a reading of the other person’s availability and emotional maturity and don’t expect to change them as time goes on.

This well-plotted guide attempts to dissect the common stereotypical negatives and reframe them into positive, action-oriented approaches, each chapter dealing with particular obstacles, the male and female responses to overcoming common problems in a manner that is empowering and personally instructive. But it is your journey in the end.

Linda Holmes is Paula Abdul to Evan Marc Katz’s Simon Cowell. Paula, er, Linda tempers every blunt statement of Evan’s, phrasing her comments into female-friendly advice that is relatable, even to the most stubborn lady. This isn’t a competition; it’s a journey, one that offers many helpful lessons sans defences. Both authors, male and female, perceive the obstacles, the Venus and Mars approach, writing with an eye to solutions.

Each issue is discussed conversationally in the contemporary rhetoric of today’s dating scene. Clearly, these are commonsense approaches, a little help sorting through the baggage of old behavior. The remarks may be couched in yin and yang, but the intent is the same, a fresh look at the dating scene, armed with the tools for a successful endeavor.

The topics are spicy: The Desperation Tango, Women Who Hate Men Who Hate Women, Everything You Say Can and Will Be Used against You, Good Girls Don’t and Deal Breakers, to name but a few. Plainspoken and to the point, the guide is simple, practical, and above all, positive, the message invaluable, not to mention entertaining.

Other worthwhile suggestions: Desperation is a recipe for failure – don’t set a wedding date the first time you meet him; Don’t generalize – “all men are dogs.” Treat each new date as an individual, not a means to an end. Insecurity is unattractive; instead, learn to know and love yourself to attract a like-minded person (we attract what we are). And don’t mistake emotional clutter for emotional complexity! Too tall an order? Not if you are stuck in a rut with no end in sight. There are enough small gems in these pages to reinvigorate even the most pitiful dating repertoire. It’s all in the perspective.

Originally published on Curled Up With A Good Book © Luan Gaines, 2006.

Also checkout the official Why You’re Still Single website.

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