Tag Archives: cape town

Digital’s 7 Golden Rules of Club Game

Posted by on July 14, 2011 No comments

Rule 1 #: Game early.

A common mistake is guys get to the club and chat with their mates, checkout the talent and after a few drinks they only then feel they are ready to game, but then it’s too late because every other guy in the club is also now at that level and feeling brave to approach
girls. So your competition and cock blocking just increases the longer you wait. You have an advantage knowing how the game works, compared to every other guy, so don’t wait around. Get to the club early and start making random chit chat with sets while you drink. Approach as many girls as you can early on, you’ll notice you’ll have minimal competition and all the other guys will just be watching you wishing they had the balls to do the same. Keep the interactions short and sweet with sets in the early evening, and leave them on a high energy vibe. This will make you more memorable, so when you re-approach later, you’re all set up and ready to escalate with them because they’ll remember you and you’ve built some familiarity with them. Don’t wait to close girls 1 or 2 hours from club closing either, your chances just decrease dramatically.

Rule 2 #: Have rules when with a wingman

When out with a wingman, set up rules for certain situations. Like he
who approaches gets first choice. I’ve been in a situation when my
wingman and I are gaming the same girl, and that’s not where you want
to be because most likely neither of you are getting anything for her.
When you approach sets with a wing, its highly unlikely that you’re
going to hook up with your target, and your wing is also going to hook
up with your targets friend .. so remember the sole purpose of your
wingman is to distract your targets friend so you can isolate your
target, so take her away from her friend as soon as possible. Also
sometimes the situation arises when things are going well with your
target, but now your wingman is on his own, so he might hang around
the two of you, creating a third-wheel situation, in this case he
needs to follow the rule to leave you two alone. She is most likely
going to close up on you if she now has two guys she just met hanging
around her, so your wingman needs to keep away while you push towards
a close. Your wingman needs to understand that at times you might be
apart for extended periods in the night and not take it personally,
but ultimately you would probably be better off going out solo and
avoid all of these types of situations. But for early evening, and
having a base camp in between sets, having a wingman is useful.

Rule 3 #: Don’t be results focused.

Before you get to the club, don’t be in the mind set that you need to
fuck someone tonight. You’re setting yourself up for failure if you
don’t meet that expectation. Go out with the mind set to have fun.
You’ll notice your best nights, when you met someone awesome was
probably not a night when you were expecting something to happen, you
just went out to have fun and went with the flow. Don’t be results
focused when approaching either, like saying “ok I’m going to approach
that girl and number close her” Just go out and approach and have fun,
sometimes pickup is a slow process which runs over the course of the
evening so there is no rush to close. Go with the flow and enjoy
yourself and see where the night takes you.

Rule 4 #: Always seem uninterested

If you watch other guys in the club with no game and see how they
watch women, you’ll notice how they’ll be constantly checking out
girls in “predator mode”. Girls have a sixth sense at sensing
desperation in men that do this and see this as threatening and
unattractive. Sometimes you’ll see a guy stare at a girl for a while,
and after he has plucked up enough courage he’ll approach and she’ll
immediately be uninterested in him and close up – because she has
already noticed him checking her out and he is on her predator radar.
Instead go hang out at the bar, talk to your mates, look at girls
briefly but don’t stare – don’t make it obvious that you’re checking
them out. Subtle eye contact is key here. And then when you do
approach seem friendly but uninterested in her. Make her think you’re
not on the prowl, just being sociable and this make you seem more
mysterious. She’ll be wondering the whole time, “ok he’s talking to
me, but he’s not hitting on me… but why not?” Make her chase you!

Rule 5 #: Never buy girls drinks

I use to do this all the time, but mainly with shots.. but it rarely
gets you anything. Sure it might create entertainment value but you’re
setting yourself up to just be used. Try the opposite tactic, when you
get to the bar with some girls you just met, ask them if they are
buying you drinks… surprisingly this works sometimes. If they
decline you could say that they should buy the first round and you’ll
buy the next round – this sets things up for later if they leave you
because they’ll come to find you to get their round you owe them.
Otherwise just pay for your own drinks – and just say something like
well listen I don’t just buy girls drinks that I just met. They will
respect you more, trust me. The nice guy routine of buying drinks just
does not work – it’s like you are trying to buy their approval with
drinks – women see straight through this.

Rule 6 #: Never try kiss a girl in front of her friends

I only realised this much later in the game but it’s true, some girls
might feel a bit embarrassed smooching some guy she just met in front
of her friends, there is a lot of social pressure for her not to do
it. So always isolate, and when you make your move make sure her
friends are not right next to her. You’ll notice she might be far more
responsive to your advances when her friends are not watching so
isolation is key.

Rule 7 #: Create enough sexual tension before trying to get her to
your place.

A common mistake when dropping the line “do you want to come back to
my place?” is you have to say it when she is ready to hear that. Make
sure that there is enough sexual tension that she will agree to that.
So dance with her, kiss her, get her revved up so that you can just
see in her eyes she wants to take things further. But then when she
agrees to come home with you, always imply that you’re not going to
have sex and that you just want to hang out for a bit – get something
to eat / sober up etc. This builds comfort with her because you have
just cancelled out what she might be wondering about, whether or not
she actually wants to sleep with you. Once she gets to your place,
don’t rush into making advances, make her feel comfortable in your
space and only then escalate. Don’t imply you want to have sex, but
turn her on enough from kissing her and touching her that she actually
decides for herself that she wants to have sex and then go for it. She
will be expecting you to just want sex so do the opposite and it’ll
just make her want to do it more!

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How can some women be a class act and others not?

Posted by on May 15, 2008 2 comments

The short answer is: energy or what you sometimes call vibe.

While in Cape Town I normally have breakfast at least once at Mugg & Bean in Cavendish and I once again had a few meetings this past Saturday. While waiting to be seated I noticed the tall and stunning woman with the best white boots I have seen in a year. The most striking thing about her was her energy or aura or viba – take your pick. The rest her clothes were exceptionally well matches and she topped it off with a cute hat, also white. She was about 1.7m+ tall and carried herself very well like she walking on a red carpet. She walked slowly and never looked around at the other people walking to and fro in the mall. She was with a man who may or may not be her boyfriend. And what was also notable is that there was NO clinging. She was not holding onto him, nor was he holding onto her. There were what Zan Perrion and others have called, together apart. And Khalil Gibran in The Prophet, said there should be spaces in your togetherness.

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Zan Perrion interviewed by Men’s Health magazine in Cape Town

Posted by on March 15, 2008 2 comments

Zan Perrion, one of the most respected teachers from the seduction community, visited Cape Town about a year ago. My friend Lloyd de Jongh actually met him in person. The basic feedback was that Zan comes from a different world than the average guy. However, its clear he has spent over 20 years becoming a natural with women. Anyway decide for yourself if this video clip has any concepts of ideas that moves you…


The Triangle in Bermuda unravelled

Posted by on July 8, 2007 No comments

The Triangle is a miniseries originally broadcast on the Sci-Fi channel and now available on DVD. I rented the DVD over this weekend because it’s about 255 minutes of running time broken into 3 episodes. This is a very original take on the Bermuda Triangle and time travel discrepancies.

You will enjoy this DVD if you enjoy other current science fiction series like The 4400 or Heroes. The producers include Bryan Singer, director of first two X-Men films and Superman Returns as well as Dean Devlin, producer of Stargate and Independence Day. The cast is exceptional with Eric Stoltz, Sam Neill, Lou Diamond Phillips, Catherine Bell, Bruce Davidson (twice in X-Men as Senator Robert Kelly), and Michael E. Rodgers. There is also two South African actors in the series with brief roles: Marius Weyers, still with a thick South African accent after all these years and Hakeem Kae-Kazim, originally from Nigeria but primarily based in South Africa. I’ve met Hakeem a few times and he has awesome energy about him.

The plot is simple – it seems. A very rich shipping magnate Eric Benirall (Sam Neill) recruits a group of misfits that include a journalist for a tabloid, a deep ocean resource engineer, a man with genuine psychic abilities and Meteorology professor. They band together in desperate times as they find weird coincidences or as Freud called them uncanny happenings. On the surface it seems straightforward, Benirall’s company controls about 1/5th of all ships on the sea at any given time through his cargo company and has lost 6 ships in a short space of time. Later on more deeper reasons emerge as it turns out Benirall lost a brother in the Bermuda Triangle. Each one of the main cast have personal circumstances which adds depth to their characters. The navy it turns out is building a huge machine to counter the effects of the infamous Philadelphia Experiment, in which a ship allegedly disappeared in a scientific experiment in 1943. It has been an integral part of many conspiracy theories over the decades.

In summary this is a great action packed, sci-fi thriller. It’s also reminiscent of the X-Files in many ways and pays homage to mixing hard core scientists, with sceptics, with soothsayers. This is a highly recommended DVD to all those who enjoy suspense, unusual events mixed with great science fiction and excellent performances by the cast. Just a final note – I was really chuffed this mini series was shoot mostly in Cape Town.

How to use charm not flattery

Posted by on May 11, 2007 No comments

The last few days I’ve been in beautiful Cape Town, South Africa. Now I visit this wonderful city about once every two or three months and whenever I am here it feels like home – that is another story. I’d like to share with a lesson in charm school.

A few days before leaving Joburg I booked my car rental through Avis – the “we try harder company.” I got the best deal and was content. First thing I realised after checking in at the newly renamed OR Tambo International (Johannesburg International) airport is that I forgot my drivers license in my car. This was parked at the long term parking so there was no way I’m going to run out to the parking lot to retrieve it before taking off from Cape Town.

The little voice in my head told me “don’t worry you’re a damn charming fellow and whomever you speak to at Avis in Cape Town will help you out.” This is where I first programmed the belief into my own mind.

Now let’s skip to Cape Town airport and my arrival at the Avis desk. I am a “preferred member” but left my damn card also back at my place in Jozi. So with only slight hesitation I headed over to the Preferred Customer section (always a shorter queue and all for filling in a form to get a loyalty card.) I stood up straight and in my most authentically charming voice told the woman behind the counter I have a special situation , she must please try to help me out.

Read the above again – I basically issued an instruction, not a request. You see the human brain is the most programmable computer ever invented. And the great school system prepares you to become an automaton who listen to commands much more than questioning them – just look at how people around you behave. If you studies any NLP at all you’ll be smiling by now.

So as she looked at me I also looked deep into her eyes. I used a technique called “Sending” recently learned from Dr Paul Dobransky to send her good feelings. Next thing is I assumed rapport and treated her like an old friend. Smiling but not to much and always keeping very good body language – meaning confident body language. You loose more by poor body language and bad voice tone then any crap you may speak.

Anyway the end result here was that I used charm instead of flattery. I did not compliment this woman except in the end and it was sincere. Now most people in my situation would have tried to be overly nice – this is flattery. And most guys when meeting a new girl they find attractive dish out the compliments without the women doing one thing to deserve it. This woman from Avis deserved a compliment. And I may just send her some flowers before my next trip in June – this will secure continued excellent and preferential service. I like to see this as building goodwill for the future.

What’s your experience with charming people to help you out of problematic situations?

Speed dating virgin

Posted by on January 6, 2005 No comments

by Nomfundo Mbaba

I walked into Cubana, the venue for the speed dating event in Cape Town, and I immediately began to feel the butterflies in my stomach. It’s one thing going on a blind date, but going on blind dates with 15 men is a whole other ball game

That’s how speed dating works. A certain number of men and the same number of women have quick one on one date of five minutes or less. They chat, socialise and hope for a love connection.

Meeting the Potentials

On this night I was ready for anything. I approached my seating area and was relieved to meet two other women who would be dating the same men I would date. Caroline and Samantha are siblings. As a working single mom, Caroline doesn’t have time to meet guys, so trying out speed dating is the next best thing. Samantha is single too, but she came with her sister for moral support. Meeting a man would just be an added bonus.

On this date the three of us sat in our little area and the men would come to us; rotating until they had dated every women in the room.

It wasn’t until five dates later that my butterflies disappeared and were replaced with a mental block of: What do I say next? I have already asked the same questions over and over. And I have responded to the same questions over and over: What do you do? Where do you live? Is it your first time here? Blah, blah, blah.

“Was five minutes enough time to truly connect with somebody?” I wondered to myself.

Speeding ahead

By the time I was with guy number 13, I couldn’t remember who guy number two was and what he did for a living. My only saving grace was a card the organisers had given me at the beginning of the evening where I could fill out the person’s speed dating number (e.g. guy number five). I could write brief notes to remind myself of who interested me and write a big HELL NO next to the number of the person who was not to my liking.

Possible match?

I think it was guy number seven who interested me and made a lasting impression. He told me my boots were nice. He was the only one who noticed my new shoes or even made a comment. And because I am a shoe-aholic (one who is addicted to shoes), I was very pleased. We had made a connection. Not a love connection, just a shoe connection.

The following day when I filled out my online card at www.speeddater.co.za (doesn’t exist anymore so try www.smartdate.co.za instead) with my favourites, guy number seven was one of them. Even though I had made no love connection with anybody there, I was curious and eager to see who had chosen me. There were three “matches”. I had strategically cast my date net wide, so three matches out of 12 was not so bad.

Unconventional Success Story

This Speed dating thing turned out to be a not-so-bad move. I met a lot of interesting people and began to enjoy it as the evening went on.

I’ve told my single friends about it and I hope to go with them next time (if I’m still single).
Even if I did not meet a soul mate, I do have a success story. Guy number seven has become a good friend. He is still single, so if there are any single women out there let me know so I can hook you up with a very sweet man.

We recommend SMARTdate speed dating events in South Africa