Admit it: have you ever used Facebook to check up on women from your past to see what and, more importantly, who they’re doing?

The other day, while scrolling through the lists of friends of one of my friends, I came upon the name of an ex of mine (and, since I have so many exes, this could be anyone). I clicked on it and, voila, there was her new life splayed before me.

The page had dozens of photos of her (sporting an apparent new boob job) with an apparent “boyfriend” who, if pictures are any indication, seems like a very nice guy.

As I went through the photos, it appeared that, with all of the shots of his family meeting her and her family, these two are probably registered at Crate & Barrel by now, and the catering hall has probably been reserved, even though there was no mention of this on the page.

It was a good opportunity to see if I mean what I say. Would I start to feel jealous? Would I get angry? Would I want to exact some kind of revenge?

The answer, in a word, was no. In fact, it was quite the contrary. I felt sorry for this guy.

Many students write to Your Professor asking how to get revenge on their exes. I always tell them the same thing. Don’t waste your time or energy on that, and don’t take any risks that will endanger your enjoyment of your current life free of that insufferable cunt.

Let’s take me as an example with this ex and the new love of her life.

As I go through these photos, it is obvious to me that this poor guy doesn’t know what he’s in for. Even if I wanted revenge, nothing I could dream up could be worse than him having to be with her 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It seems great now, pal, believe me, I know how it can be. She seems like such fun! Sex in the front seat of the car or just about anywhere at a moment’s notice. If he likes it, she likes it. If he likes going to Laker games, she will be seated right next to him. If he likes to travel, she will plan the trip. She smokes weed. She drinks. She loves having people over to the house. I am sure that he feels like the luckiest guy in the world, as I once did.

However, as I always say, when you find something in the recycle bin that looks good, like a TV that still works, there is usually a reason that somebody put it there.

Wait until she starts asking for her car to be upgraded. Every…single…day. Wait until he finds out that she will be gossiping with her friends about him: the good…the bad…the ugly. Wait until he finds out that her best friend fucked around on her husband and that she let the best friend use her apartment as a fucking location. (Never mind that this woman’s husband was supposedly also one of her “good friends.”) Does he know that she waited for me to leave the house so she could have long chat sessions with a girlfriend about an ex-boyfriend who refused to marry her, then married someone else? (“He’s gone now…tell me all about this woman he’s with!”) Or that she got caught giving her cell phone number to an ex-boyfriend who wanted her back?

How about when I found out that she had been dumped by her three previous boyfriends before me? How about the fact that she got really, really close to every friend and relative I had that she could find, getting everyone’s phone numbers and email addresses and then started spreading lies and gossip about me and some of my friends to all who would listen? How about the way she would blow up my cell phone when I was out doing business, with calls and texts demanding to know when I would be getting home, even showing up at business dinners and sitting down at the table inserting herself into the conversation?

I’m sure he doesn’t know about the time she was deported and I had to rescue her back into the US. How about the time she threatened to kill herself by leaving home in the late afternoon while I was doing my radio show with no hint of where she was going, forcing me to get 911 involved (I later found her in a Sunset Strip bar getting loaded and planning on driving after that). She even lies about what religion she actually is, and judging from the photos, that could very well be an issue for this poor guy. And when I told her I had had enough, she pretended not to hear me and refused to leave my home, forcing me to endure weekly couples counseling sessions during which I begged the therapist to tell her that I wanted her out. After leaving, she made sure to call people as close to me as my own brother to tell him a raft of lies about me which I later had to put to rest and to threaten to try to “ruin” my career.

I would love to feel jealous, and I would love to say that I am sad to see this ex with another guy, who appears to be a very nice guy. Jealous? I pity the fool!

The worst part about it is that, among the photos, I also see photos of people who know the real truth, her good friends who will never tell him what he’s in for. Those are the people who know all of the things that I have mentioned above. They’re all smiling and laughing together in the photos. If only he knew what they know! And, especially, what I know.

It is a good lesson for all of us. Before you commit yourself to a relationship (if you feel that you must), be sure to do your due diligence. The friends know all and tell little. If you know who she dated in the past, give them a call and see what you can find out. I would have been happy to give this gentleman the inside scoop had he called. Aren’t you the least bit curious when you meet someone who appears to be so much fun to be around why others unceremoniously dumped her?

No. I am not jealous. I wish this happy couple all the happiness I possibly can. And if I ever feel even a tinge of jealousy, I can think about all the misery that he is about to experience, which would make putting sugar in his gas tank or slashing his tires pale in comparison.

Remember my Tip of this Day: living well is your best revenge. Go out and find someone hotter, younger, better. Or preferably five someones.

source: Leykis 101

At the bottom is David’s latest video podcast titled “the Leader and The Bad Boy“. Remember he’s collecting questions until the end of June so he can answer them in his latest book. He will award 3 copies of this new book to 3 people who can come up with the best question. Send you questions to davidxdating@gmail.com

I want to take the time to thank you for your help. I’ve never had a 1 on1 consultation with you, but I purchased a copy your David X Direct Dating Seminar. I have to tell you before I watched the seminar I had a hard time talking to women. I felt that my lack of confidence and skills was holding me back. I started to watch your seminar and right away the topics which you discussed made sense to me . Your lessons, demos, discussions on your 2 Rules and insight into the female psyche was very simple for me to grasp. I knew that if I wanted to get these principles you taught in the seminar imprinted in my mind that I had to go out into the real world and practice . I will admit at first it was a bit difficult for me to go talk to a women. However after listening to you speak I found myself motivated to overcome any fears that I had. I kept on watching your seminar as a way to learn and motivate myself.

After a couple of weeks of going out to the bars ,clubs, and other public places I was talking to more women remembering your 2 rules and everything else you said in your seminar . As I was approaching more and more women I started to feel a boost in my self-confidence and have more respect for myself by being more direct with women and not allowing myself to get manipulated by them. Eventually I started to get a few numbers and go out on dates. Guess What? I just had my first 1 nightstand not too long ago. I feel like a new person thanks to what you had to say in your seminar. It was the perfect Seminar all the lectures, tips and, demos you provided was perfect to help someone like myself struggling to meet women without having to do the coaching . You and Allan did a Kick Ass job. As of now I feel that I am doing fine without coaching. If I should have any problems down the road I will be in touch with you.

Thanks, Jon

Meeting new people is always a challenge. Crowded bars and parties may seem like great spots to meet women, but not only do you have to compete with a lot of guys in these places, but you also have to deal with the fact that many women do not like meeting men at bars and have a natural resistance to men who approach them in these settings.

In fact, many women see men who are on the prowl at bars and parties as guys who only want one-night stands. The key to meeting new women is to approach them in places where they can get a sense of your personality and see that not only do you have interests, but you also share some of theirs. Here are some of the best places to meet a quality single woman.

1. Health Classes

Women like guys who take care of themselves and stay in shape. Fitness classes are not just for women, so to meet women who also take care of their bodies and minds, think about taking a fitness class like yoga, kickboxing at gyms like Virgin Active or Planet Fitness. This is in a closed environment, and since everyone is doing exactly the same workout, it makes it a lot more comfortable to socialize. Women tend to regularly attend the same classes each week, so this is a natural opportunity to get to know them over time with no pressure. Work this into your routine, especially in Cape Town or Johannesburg where traffic may cause long delays. The best times are as early as 5am, which is the time Shashi Naidoo goes to gym in Norwood.

2. Special Interest Classes

Single women try to keep themselves busy, and the ones who are always learning and growing are very good to be with. You may want to consider taking special interest classes like dance instruction, foreign languages, cooking, art, massage therapy or Pilates. You may find that special someone in classes like these.

3. Libraries and Book Stores

There is always the possibility of meeting a single woman between the bookcases. Libraries and bookstores are some of the hottest places to meet single women. Places like Exclusive Books have places to sit down and read, and you might be able to get into good conversations with some smart and attractive women. CNA is a high traffic store and you’ll find a good circulation of both younger and older women buying magazines. So don’t make excuses when your local mall does not have a bigger book store. Some excellent venues include Sandton Library. You can easily move the woman you meet to one of the restaurants or coffee shops nearby on Nelson Mandela Square.

4. Church

Many churches have weekly or monthly activities outside of their regular program for singles to become involved in. People in places of worship probably have more activities lined up than you could ever imagine. Consider this a gold mine in meeting single women with good values.

5. Art Galleries

You will find women at places like art galleries to be better educated, have class and confidence. If you do not know about the artists or a particular piece, act with confidence, find a woman who is familiar with the exhibit and ask her to explain it to you.

• Art Exhibition in Cape Town
• Johannesburg Art Gallaries
• Durban and KwaZulu-Natal Art Gallaries

source: SAMEN / OlderButWiser

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TRUTH: Young women want whatever other young women want. They’re herd creatures. If you lavish a woman with love and affection she’ll think you’re doing it because nobody else wants you (which may be true) and she’ll dump you. In fact, if you do anything that betrays that you’re a loser that other women won’t touch, she’ll dump you. Why? Because she wants to impress her friends with what a great catch she’s made, and if she thinks that they wouldn’t want you, then she doesn’t want you either.

There are only three exceptions to this rule. The first exception is ‘, otherwise known as “witches, bitches, and crazy ladies.” They’ll stay with you because nobody else wants them, or because you’re the only one who put up with their abuse. The second exception is women who like to “fix men up”: those women who like to take “broken” men and turn them into the man they want. These women are single because a mature man will recognize that these women don’t want him… they want to turn him into someone else. The third exception is that once in a long time you meet a woman who isn’t psycho, still wants to stay with you when she finds out that you’re not super stud, and doesn’t want to change you into someone else. This is the one you marry.

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The Art of Saying No becomes even more important when you move from dating into romantic relationships. The key to healthy relationships are clear boundaries. Building boundaries starts with learning the art of saying no without guilt.

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If you are new to PUA this will be an excellent starting point to see where you will be going and the best way to start.

FEE: R60 for members, R80 for unbooked. Bring guests, and book with me or invite them to event and get them to confirm.

To book SMS 081 4399 555.

Confirmed Speakers

1. Brandon Pearman
2. Ramon Thomas
3. Kieran de Lange
4. Tristan Moss
5. Anver Barthis
6. Miles Bissay
7. Some up and coming PUAs

• Date: 24 March 14h00 – 17h00. Afterwards we go out for a night on the town.
• Venue: Dance Juxion, Rosebank Mall

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How can I say that, well if you use the “excuser” way to get a number e.g. “I’m doing something X cool, you should come, write me your number…” that is a disaster waiting to happen. You are lying to a girl pretending that you’re NOT interested in her. Don’t do that.

Also, there is a false notion that you shouldn’t be in a “dating frame”, that is an absolute nonsense. If you are on a “date” it is called dating. Not day-2, level-37, or some other geeky nonsense. A date is a date no mater how you call it, you might as well call it a “date”

So how do you do it, the proper way?

Well… if you practice DNA-Dominant, the simplest and most effective is to be direct, explicit and very specific. Women absolutely love strong, decisive men who know what they want and are not afraid to take it.

So, when you feel the time is right follow the three-step process below

STEP 1 – Declare your interest

“You know what, I actually like you”

STEP 2 – Be specific, direct and honest

“I am going to take you out on a date next week”

STEP 3- Get her phone number

“Write down your phone number and I’ll call you tomorrow to set it up”

What you are doing is, you are strong masculine traits and a woman will be

1. Attracted to such direct, masculine behavior

2. Know EXACTLY what you want from her (as you spelled it out to her)

Through the act of writing-down her number she CONSENTS to dating you! No false pretexts, no fake reasons, no chance to move into the “friend zone”…

This is the way of DNA

It is fast, effective, consistent and repeatable. This is the ONLY way you should be getting her phone number.

And a free bonus, when you’re framing it this way, you are NOT dating her, she is dating YOU. You keep the masculine frame “I choose you” and that becomes the healthy basis of the future relationship.

Live in the moment!

source: Badboy Lifestyle, Croatia

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As for me, I prefer going to a salsa class, a mall or a lounge/bar like Newscafe. The alternative is to make friends and grow your social circle.

Just to be clear on my current view on speed dating events. I’ve ended my formal working relationship with Serena Grobler, the owner of Fastdate. She’s turned out to be the most unreliable person. She often keeps her phone off for days and there is no way I can recommend her speed dating events to you on this forum or anyone else.

The same goes for SMARTdate, run by Jenny Cereseto. I have not seen or spoken to her in about 2 years. She’s own her own mission. Last time we spoke she was trying to sell the business to someone else because she was bored with running speed dating events.

So here’s my conclusion. Speed dating events are good in theory while they suck in reality. The quality of the women are low. The guys are losers. The events mostly lack energy because the hosts don’t have a clue about social dynamics. Your money is much better spent on a salsa class.

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1. He who opens the set, owns the set. He gets first choice of target.
2. Don’t ever steal the target. Unless you get approval from your wingman.
3. If the wingman approaches your set, you will turn to face him. Never leave him standing without acknowledging and/or introducing him.
4. Only build rapport when you see IOI”s coming from the set.
5. The wingman must never introduce himself to the set or ask to be introduced.
6. Upon entering the set DHV each other.

How does the wingman know who is the target if he is ignoring/negging his target. You should make clear to the wing who exactly the target is. You are allowed to exchange or swap targets by notifying your wingman.

Enter the Wingman:

You have opened a set and have enough time to pass the hook point. The wing approaches you. Asks have you seen Michelle? If you say yes, you mean he can join the set. The wingman enters and can say “What are you guys talking about? how do you all know each other?, etc” or go into a routine.

If you say no it means he can’t join the set and that you need to leave the set soon.

Or

Both of you go into the set at the same time:

Use the drug lord, hitman, wedding, prom, model, etc opener. An opener where both of you are involved in the conversation.

Once both you and the wing are in the set for roughly 4-5 minutes. If you guys are not sure of what to do next. Don’t ever leave the set
without agreeing with your wingman. By agreeing you could use “Should we go find Simon” meaning STAY in the set or “Should we go find Lance” meaning LEAVE the set. Ask your wing or vice versa. If you guys do decide to leave the set do not leave without the number close. If you are sarging during the day, before you leave the set say something like there is this huge party with Models and Cocktails happening in the area, I can’t remember the clubs name. It starts with an S, I will send you the details what is your number? In clubs it is better to DHV and get a timebridge for a successful number close, if not the number that you got is like a piece of wood.

Wingwomen/Pivot rules

1. They need to know that you are out to get other women. (If not, they are not classified as wingwomen)
2.  Don’t go with a pivot that you want to f close, unless you want to get a threesome. They are usually used as pawns in clubs.
3.  If are you going with one wingwoman, she needs to take care of the obstacles by herself.
4.  They need to be constantly dhv’ing you to the sets and the targets. Walk in the club with 2 pivots, one in each arm and hb’s will open you up. Easy!!!!!

Optional Routine

If the set asks you what are your professions say that you are consultants. (Credit goes to William for this). We are mainly business
consultants, we just started recently on having sex consultations. We give advice on how to have better sex in bed. Its surprising as to see how much clients are making appointments to see us the last month. We are soo busy, guys just don’t know how to please a woman anymore. Different types of couples makes appointments with us and don’t know how to deal with their sexual issues. It’s really funny when the 55 year old and older couples book with us. The old women always complains that the old guy never gets a bona like before and is a viagra addict. bla bla bla. If someone can, please add more info to the routine. Somehow afterwards you need to say you were just kidding.

If on the occasion your wingman ditches/flakes on you. Go out out on your own, after all you are the leader of men. Your wingman is going to miss out on the fun and excitement. You will get excuses like “I have to work tomorrow” “Im too tired, maybe tomorrow”. You can still go for a sarge and come home before 11pm.

Rules are meant to be broken, so break it. But remember by breaking this rules it might ruin your chances of getting laid. And don’t ever blame each other for the wreck that happened, it is your own fault. You need to take charge. It’s all about good sportsmanship.

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I was on a camp this weekend, my aim was NOT to sarge. My main aim was to CHILL and HANGOUT with friends. I switched my phone off for 3 days, didn’t wanna have any disturbances from the outside world. I wanted to take break from city life.

The moment we parked our cars and set our tents. I didn’t expect to see so many hb’s. You won’t find 10′s or supermodels but there were lots of good looking ones. My friend said I must not bring any women back to the tent as there is no extra space. Like I said I never came to sarge but when my friends were sleeping and napping I did.

I hate using canned routines, too much memorising for me. I never used any routines, I was just being myself and after all it was a camp. I tried all sorts of openers and one opener I call the Tent System, the tent has no door where you can knock on so all you do is open it and say wrong tent and ask if you can join. Tried it many times.

I had 2 threesome opportunities I opened a 5 set, the bisexual hb (7) saw me talking to the 5 set then she ran a situational opener on me. She number closed me within 5 minutes, she said her gf is taking nap. I thought let me try out a threesome. We went over to her tent to introduce me to her gf I then went away immediately. Her gf looks like FREAKING dude.

I opened a 2 set hb 8 and hb 6. They came to the event on their own and didn’t have a tent to stay in. I told them they can sleep in my car. I wanted to close the hb 8 but didn’t have a wingman to take care of the obstacle. So I decided if this is how the game is played then lets play it this way.

There was 3 days full of daygame, nightgame, morninggame, eveningame, sunsetgame, sunrisegame, whatever you guys want to call it. Whether you a PUA or AFC, or whether you are good with women or not. There was no excuses to get laid.

I would recommend these type of events for anybody that wants to get good practice and to get rid of approach anxiety. Anybody that wants to get laid without using routines and shit. Its good for guys that just want to get laid without playing solid
game. It was that easy.

And Happy New Year to all the active and inactive pua’s on this lair.

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