Monthly Archives: February 2008

The Only Commandment this Valentine Day: Love Yourself

Posted by on February 14, 2008 1 comment

This post is a continuation of ideas I started exploring from Osho’s Love, Freedom and Aloneness book…


There is an belief that it’s better to give then to receive, it’s better to sacrifice yourself for the good of others, your country, your family or your children. Osho says this is a lie, a blatant lie. The priests and the politicians have held against you from the beginning of time. Even the Oracle at Delphi saying, ?Know Thyself? got it wrong because how can you even begin to know yourself if you do not love yourself? Dr John Gray said in the movie, The Secret, you have to give more to yourself, so that you can begin to overflow, and then you share with others.

When you do not love yourself it’s nothing more than avoiding yourself. Everything you do, watching television, listening to the radio, socialising, working, lovemaking, is all escaping from yourself. So how do you begin to get in touch with that part of you that you have been denying or ignoring? One way is to bring to the conscious mind those good things that you know others see in you, and you see in yourself from time to time. Do the following exercise and share the results with me by posting a comment below.

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Speed dating wasn’t fast enough meeting the Baroness

Posted by on February 11, 2008 No comments

There was a young man called Ramon
who was tired of being alone.
Imagine his stress
when a man in a dress
blew him kisses and followed him home.

How many of you have encountered a man dressed up like a woman? Aha! Fortunately it’s only happened once in my life ? so far.

A few years ago I attended the first ever speed dating event held in South Africa in Melrose Arch. I read on a website that an SABC3 was going to record the evening’s events. So I jumped at the opportunity to be on tv ? I mean after all who does not want to be on tv? Normally I don’t do skydiving or bungee jumping but doing this was a very big thrill for me.

How speed dating works is as follows: you normally have 10 guys and 10 girls. The girls sit down on tables and the guys rotate after 5 minutes so they are guaranteed to meet all the woman ? as you know this does not always happen in a bar.

The Baroness Coral von ReefenhausenAnyway I moved around on a few dates and low and behold I faced the Baroness. The camera crew swooped in to capture the moment. As I sat down and she/he extended her hand, ?Well, well, well… aren’t you a handsome fellow…? Why thank you was my quick reply. ?Tell me…Ramon…where would we go on a first date..,? was her next question. This is where I had to think really, really fast. ?Oh maybe we’d go on a picnic, so we have lots of time to talk and get to know each other.? Those 5 minutes felt like an eternity with the Baroness.

My next speed dating event was a huge improvement. Popular Johannesburg radio station 94.7 Highveld Stereo ran a special competition for Valentine’s Day 2005, which turned out to be the biggest speed dating event ever. We had over 50 people and you could smell the excitement in the air. Because of the amount of people we were split into two groups, and Fastdate, hosted the function. This lead to use being split up into two groups. Now as I entered the building going upstairs where the event was taking place. I was followed by a gorgeous girl with a big smile. She had a certain energy about her, a girly, bubbly type, which so many women over 30 seem to loose. As we reached the 2nd floor, a table full of small champagne bottles waited for us. I grabbed mine without a straw as usual. This girl, Lauren, took hers and innocently placed the straw in hers. The gas in the champagne reacted and almost like a volcano this thing erupted….”Oops! I did it again”, Was the expression on her face and she giggled her shy hello. We hit it off later on and I left the venue with a kiss and a her cellphone number tucked safely in my back pocket. So in fact I broke the rules, because I didn’t bother completing the speed dating forms, evaluating all the other women.

If you’re keen on trying speed dating start by download my speed dating ebook, The ABC of Speed Dating.

How to invite a woman out you have just met buying Dolce&Gabbana

Posted by on February 9, 2008 No comments

Recently I was out at the Mall of Rosebank and I was doing some shopping. My approach skills have been slack because in 2007 I was in two long term relationships. So I’ve been going out more often to brush up on my pickup skills. One of my strategies has always been to go to clothing stores and find a sexy girl to help me decide what clothes to purchase.

Dolce&Gabbana light blueSometimes there just isn’t any attractive women or more specifically the women who are working in the retail stores are just plain average. But if you look around you’ll find the niche locations where the hotties be found. So I was in Truworths and headed over to the cosmetic section. You’ll notice in the cosmetic section there can be either female clients or female employees. I noticed a tall, sexy girl who was dangling over the checkout counter and called her over. Another less attractive woman had approached me to help me and I sent her packing and chose the HB.I flirted with her from the get go. And I also touched her, getting her to touch me back as I sampled the new Light Blue Dolce&Gabanna. Asking her the following line, I learned from Ross Jeffries, was the clincher, “Have you ever met a guy in a place like this you thought was just fascinating?” And she responded, yes. What this question does is allows her mind to go back into her memory and begin to think of what meeting a fascinating guy feels like. I then touched her wrist to anchor that feeling to myself. This was a little judo trick to create instant attraction with a woman you’ve just met.

Now just before I left I said to her, “I’m hosting an Anti-Valentine’s day party on 14 Feb and I’d love you to join me…” next I wrote down my name and cellphone number and left it with her. I didn’t even say goodbye and just left. About 15 mins later I was still walking around other parts of Rosebank, Johannesburg, and received a call on my cell. Answer in high spirits it turned out to be this woman, from Truworths, just letting me know this is her number and that I should have an awesome day.

So in summary what I did was I linked the feeling of fascination in her mind to me, and I then proceed to ask her out to join me at a party. We’ve spoken since and she’s keen to meet before the Anti-Valentine’s Day party. The key thing to remember about asking woman out is NOT to drag it out. Forget getting her phone number and calling later. Suggest meeting immediately (going for a drink) or later the same day and leave your cellphone number with her. You cut to the chase when she calls because its undeniable interest. We’re all very, very busy these days so there’s no time to waste and drag out the dating process.

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