Last Saturday I attended my cousin Nazeerah’s 21st birthday party. Nazeerah is a young woman filled with the life energy that is to be expected from a 21 year old. She’s always been mature and now she’s finally growing up into a beautiful young woman who is holding the world in her the palm her hands. Her parents have reinforced a very positive self-image and I know it will continue.

So while I was helping out in the background with the guests as they arrived I started observing that there were many more women at this function. In fact there were blatantly more old ladies without partners. Now I do not know if their partners died or divorced or if they are single. I met a few of these older women throughout the evening and some were divorced and some were unmarried.

Observing the guys I mostly saw them enjoying themselves, chatting away and having a drink like guys do. Many of the women, forced to dress up, on their best behaviour maybe, seemed like they would rather be somewhere else.

For example the one lady who had done Nazeerah’s hair sat at my table. When the guys she was with left the table she referred to him as her “friend” which clearly meant her was NOT her boyfriend. And she just generally seemed bored and disinterested in being with him. Maybe he realised this or not but I can certainly say from how little they actually spoke that there is very little to no chemistry between them. This women was likely in her late 30s or even early 40s and it just hit me, if she was never married, how unhappy she likely is with herself. You are your own worst enemy in these situations.

Anyway the next woman I observed from across the table, turned out to the be the girlfriend of the DJ. At first I thought she was around 26 but later on when I noticed her fupa, I said to myself she is easily 10 years older. I actually could not believe a woman would expose herself in such way when she knows she’s not does not have the waste of Shakira or Beyonce. I almost ran the other way when she began dancing later on after the speeches and dinner.

It’s just funny when I think about how much pressure is applied to women over 25 and in the severest cases over 30 to get married. My own sister is turning 21 next year and I’m doing everything in my power to remove any negative reinforcement she may have received from my mother or other old ladies about meeting prince charming. I shared with Nazeerah some information from Dr John Demartini about how to better communicate with her boyfriend by linking her values to his.