Monthly Archives: June 2007

Brent Smith on Who Are You Talking To?

I’ve just signed up for a monthly podcast with American Dating Coach Brent Smith. Brent Smith was first interviewed on the David DeAngelo Advanced Series. And after a while he launched his own website over at Absolute Power Dating which allows you to subscribe to his short and powerfully direct ideas on retaining your power in dating and relationships with women. Brent has some of the best advice I’ve ever found. And it’s all about being a natural, being social and open to new experiences. On his MySpace profile you can access archives of his newsletter re-posted as blogs.

So here’s a short video clip of him followed by some great advice about not limiting your conversation to talking to women but also talking to men.

If you’re limiting your interactions to women only, you’re missing the boat. Whether you need
a new wingman or just want to look social, talking to men is essential. Some of the greatest
contacts I’ve made and the greatest experiences I’ve had are due to speaking to other men.I truly believe that you’re only one interaction away from everything you want. The problem is that you don’t know which interaction it will be. I proved this theory most recently when I was
waiting for a client at the bar. An older gentleman came up to order a drink and the conversation went like this:

Me: How’s everything?

Him: Everything’s great. You?

Me: I’m awesome. Just waiting for a friend. Where are you from?

Him: Boston. You?

Me: Here. What’s on the agenda tonight?

Him: I’m going to the Maxim Magazine party with a bunch of models and celebrities…would you like to join us?

Welcome to my life. I have hundreds of stories like the above and it’s one of the reasons that
my life is like an adventure every day. I never know what’s going to happen.

Want to know how to do this on MySpace or Facebook?

Subject: How’s Everything?

Body: Hey (name), I know it’s a little weird getting an email from another guy, but I’m seeking
male friends who share my passion for women. As you can see from my page, I’m building a great social life. Maybe we’ll hang out sometime, talk to women, have a few laughs and drinks. Give me a shout back if you’re interested.

Cheers,

John

P.s. If you’re not great with women, that’s cool too. I can help point you in the right direction.

Try it and let me know what happens!

Connect with Brent Smith through his Myspace Profile here.

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Why is Jo-Ann Strauss or Pam Andrews in an interracial relationships?

Jo-Ann Strauss interracial dating and marriageAs most people know South Africa started to emerged out of decades of Apartheid brainwashing that the white race is superior to others in early 1990s. And so when I was at university between 1993-1995 I started noticing more and more interracial couples hanging out around town. It was almost like it was the in thing where white girls were seen with coloured or black guys – not so much the other way around. Since 2000 its certainly all more common place to see many variations of mixed couples in South Africa and indeed worldwide.

According to a recent HSRC survey, quoted in the Mail & Guardian feature: Love and Marriage in 2006 this is how different race groups supported interracial marriages

  • 43% Blacks
  • 38% Coloureds
  • 49% Indians
  • 61% Whites

Now I’ve noticed a particular trend among successful non-white South African women who end up in relationships with white men. And this is something beyond race. Here’s a brief list for your information:

  1. Jo-ann Strauss, former Miss South Africa and Top Billing presenter, a Coloured woman from Cape Town has a “German boyfriend, orthopaedic surgeon-model Michael Held.
  2. Vanessa Marawa, Survivor SA winner, is dating a Jewish-American, Zach Leverenz.
  3. Pam Andrews, who I’ve met a few times is dating white talk show host, sometimes comedian Paul Viv.

Now why do you think these women date white guys instead of coloured or black guys? My theory is simply that the could not find black/coloured men who could measure up to their status, their intelligence and financially. If you take Jo-Ann Strauss and Vanessa Marawa, both models, they are exceptionally tall and this again probably makes it very difficult to find guys within their own racial or cultural backgrounds who are taller. There are many anecdotal evidence that shows that women prefer taller men. And I’m sure if I tried harder I could find the actual evidence to support this argument.

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Another Philip K Dick novel turned into a movie, Next

Last I watch the film Next starring Nicolas Cage and the very hot Jessica Biel. Next is based on the latest Philip K Dicknovel, The Golden Man, to be adapted to the big screen. Philip K. Dick is mostly known for his works on Science Fiction and some memorable movies have been based on his work like Blade Runner, Total Recall, Minority Report and others. This film is great action packed adventure plays up the “responsibility” that comes with great power.

Nicolas Cage plays a stage magician with a gift to see 2 minutes into the future. He is obsessed with visions of a woman, Jessica Biel, which is unusual because he is seeing days into the future because of her. Peter Falk, TV’s Columbo, makes a small guest appearance. Julliane Moore plays a sassy FBI agent who convinces her boss to bring Nicolas Cage in to help track down a nuclear weapon which has been smuggled into America. There is also sorts of plot changes that seem to happen because of his visions of the future changing. So ever now and then the movie jumps back to a previous point because the desired outcome did not happen.

One of the best scenes early on is when he tests various approaches with Jessica Biel and because he is looking into the future he can figure out which one actually works and do that one. A lesson here is in fact that the best approach is the one that is not needy, indirect and also unsuspecting. With enough practise you will discover that well thought out approaches can come across as natural and spontaneous.

Apocalypto death to fear and courage reborn


This past weekend I finally watched the new Mel Gibson film: Apocalypto. This film is set in the ancient Maya civilisation just before the arrival of the first Europeans. It’s graphic in it’s violence and it’s portrayal of the capturing of one tribe by another to be used as slaves and for ritual sacrifice is gruesome indeed.

This movie really made me think about the link between fear and courage. This was first brought to my attention by Dr Paul Dobransky, a noted psychiatrist and author MindOS. Basically it goes like this when you are afraid you need courage to do the things that bring fear into your life. When you do courages things it fills up the amount of confidence you have to do other things which may bring feels of fear into your life. Susan Jeffers also wrote an excellent little book, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.

Now back to Apocalypto. This movie is set in the jungle’s of Mesoamerica and right from the beginning it’s very much an adrenalin rush with the capture of a wild boar. Soon after the capture the son of the tribal leader, Jaguar Paw (Rudy Youngblood), through intuition or through sharp senses, gets up, turns around and calls out to what turns out to be a huge tribe in migration, to come out of hiding. This tribe is on the run from slave hunters if you can call them such. Flint Sky, the father of Jaguar Paw, reminds his son not to be afraid. He says to these tribal people moving through their forest, something like this: I am Flint Stone! This is my forest. This is my forest! My father hunted in this forest before me, and my sons will hunt here after I am gone! This is a quote that will be repeated by Jaguar Paw later on in the film.

Soon afterwards the village of Jaguar Paw is pillaged by same slave hunters. The Mayan priests and through them, the king, had ordained that more sacrifice is needed to purify the lands, improve the crop harvest and to save them all. The society had been in decline for a number of years. There is elements of the film that is not historically accurate but this has nothing to do with how powerful a message it conveys regarding how to overcome fear with courage. Just before he is about to be executed a solar eclipse takes place and all the ritual sacrifices is stopped. It’s not over for the captures slaves as the high priest orders them killed. Through some tough determination Jaguar Paw outmanoeuvres the hunters who had captures him and manages to escape into the forest.

Apocalypto waterfall sceneAnd here is where he’s courage is brought to the fore. His confidences increases as he gets deeper into the forest. Now just as his village was being attacked he managed to get his newly pregnant wife and son into a deep hole. And this is part of what drives him to keep going. The fact that he has to rescue them before it rains, and they drown. As the hunters close in on him he fights them off in different ways. The most exhilarating scene in the movie could be when he jumps over a waterfall. When you consider how some of the hunters following him hesitate and end up being killed because of bad jumps over the same waterfall you realise how superior Jaguar Paw’s confidence has become. He is not afraid to take risks and he places himself directly in the line of fire on several occasions. With speed and agility he overcomes great obstacles in the chase. Overall though you can start to see how living in the moment, the now, brings you closer to your true self. It brings you closer to nature and your instincts can take over. Now in a modern, westernised, technologically advances society we live in there is absolutely nothing that pushes us in the same way to develop our confidence, our courage and our instincts. To a large extent we become nothing more than automatons doing repetitive things over and over. Our ability to overcome fear when confronted by it is reduces because of this group behaviour and placating activity we call living today.

Watch the trailer for Apocalypto here and also checkout the detailed Wikipedia entry on Apocalypto.

How would you approach Lee-ann Lienberg?

I found this posting on Youtube.com of all places. Zoo is making huge strides in the magazine business for men. And here’s a sample of why…

So my question to you is how would you approach a woman like Lee-Lee Liebenberg?

How to French kiss

Another innocent question I answered, asked by a girl on Yahoo! Answers: When people French kiss does the girl put the tongue in the mouth our the guy

The simple answer is that you both do. Here’s some tips from a guy who’s been kissing girls for about 10 years ;-) Never put your tongue inside his mouth immediately. Instead use it to lick his lips a bit. Start with his upper lip and move to his lower lip. Use your lips to kiss his lips and his chin and his cheeks and move around his mouth a bit. After a while stick you tongue in his mouth but only briefly. Try to tell if he likes it. One way would be to see if he “bites” your tongue by trying to keep it in his mouth. Mix all this up and you’ll be a super kisser one day soon…

If you need more details on French Kissing checkout this detailed description on Wikihow.

First date suggestions for men and women

The worst kind of first dates these days is a coffee date or dinner. Why? Simply because it leads to an interview style of conversation. And you seek fake rapport with the person. For example what’s your favourite movie? The Matrix – “Yeah! So is mine. That’s awesome.”

So I did an interview with Essentials magazine which should be out in July edition with the following advice irrespective of whether you are using online dating, SMS dating or speed dating to meet people:

1. On a first date consider an activity like tenpin bowling, putt putt or window shopping at a flea market instead of boring dinner dates. An activity has built in conversation and reduces pressure so you have a more naturally flowing conversation.

To build rapport ask open ended questions, go deep into them and keep moving to related topics. When you talk about one thing all the time you will come across as predictable or even boring which kills attraction. Avoid interview style questions.

2. When meeting people for the first time use observation to determine their true behaviour. For example how they deal with the waiter at restaurant.

3. Make sure you are listen. They say to be interesting ? be interested. Consider switching your cellphone off for a while. If the other person answers a cellphone during that first date this sets a very bad precedent of what’s coming down the line.

4. If all goes well before the end the first date suggest a second ?date? but never refer to it as a date, simply suggest an activity as before. And by asking the other person to join you, you show confidence and certainty about what you want and where you’re doing in life.

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How would you approach Federica Felini?

Federica Felini is one of top Italian models at the moment. She’s 23 years old and have conquered the catwalks from of Milan to Paris. My question to you dear reader is how would you approach a woman like Federica if you met her just randomly on a beach front area, a mall or while grocery shopping?

Federica Felini Italian model

To view more photos of Federica Feline go here and to view other sexy Italian women click here…