Monthly Archives: September 2006

School of Scoundrels – Nice Guys Graduate Last

Just spotted a new movie which looks like Wedding Crashers meets Hitch and from the director of Old School, responsible for a number of Frat Pack movies. There does seem to be a trend for Hollywood to make more aggresively guy friendly movies in recent years. This one in particular looks really good and hopefully wakes up a lot of guys from them “nice guy syndrome”

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The Myth of Romantic Love

In the film, The Mirror Has Two Faces, Barbra Streisand mentions the emergence of courtly love. In the following audio lecture Alan Watts identifies the same thing and expands on the link between marriage and romantic love and points to the French Troubadours 800 years ago. Here’s some more background on this view:

Now my favourite book about love is this amazing book by Italian journalist and Professor in Sociology, Francesco Alberoni, 77 years old and still going strong. You can download a free English edition of his best selling “Falling in Love.

How important do you think romantic love is for a man vs. a woman?

Does famous Single Celebs make trend more acceptable or does it?

I’ve been unmarried (single and dating) for most of my 31 years on this planet so far. And I plan to continue that way into the foreseeable future. Some people may say its because I’m afraid of commitment because my mother and father divorced when I was a toddler and others may say I have not found the right woman yet. Both are correct and I have more reasons. Firstly, as a man, I have realised there is no benefit to getting married. Getting married is usually (note usually not always) the woman’s dream and not the man’s dream. Men dream of success in the world, becoming a sports champion, becoming a CEO, inventing something amazing and reaping the benefits of that. And sometimes a man may dream of a particular woman. But not in the same way.

Someone once told me when a man sees a woman he thinks, “I wonder what sex with her would be like.” And when a woman sees a man she may think, “I wonder what a relationships with him would be like.” This is essentially the difference between how men and women see the opposite sex. Now it is a biological fact that men can become interested in a relationship, pear-bonding and even starting a family with a particular woman. This normally happens after he had sex with her, and almost never before hand.

So its with amusement I read some of the people listed in this article on single life. The only people that are even remotely convincing is George Clooney and Charlize Theron. George Clooney certainly is proving the statement that a man has no benefit in getting married.

Here’s the reasons for a man never getting married from Tom Leykis:

  • He can still have sex with a woman
  • He can have babies if he chooses too
  • He can even live with a woman if he really wants too

All this while not being married! I must say because of the disaster of single mothers its best if children are born into a married life. That stability and security is important to a child’s self-esteem. And especially male children which I will write about more in the future. Single mothers raising male children in most cases are a disaster in the making.

My 1st Sunday Times feature!

On Thursday, 7th September I spent the afternoon with Buddy Naidoo, journalist at the Sunday Times, the biggest national Sunday newspaper in South Africa. When he arrived for my interview, I was sitting with Carmel Fisher, Roxanne on eTV’s Backstage.
It seems this interviewed was inspired by the article in the Sunday Independent (part1, part2), a small circulation Sunday paper. Unlike my other interviews which focussed on my online dating research, this interview was completed focussed on how men can become more successful with women. We discussed a selection of conceptseories on meeting women and how guys can learn to become better at it, quickly and most importantly the benefits of this. I demonstrated my skills by approaching a woman sitting behind us, turned out I met her a few months ago at Moloko.

Read the full article here

You Need Leykis 101 Before Its Too Late

I’ve adapted this for South Africa…

Tom Leykis radio host CalaforniaLeykis 101 is a series of rules developed and promulgated by American radio talk show host, Tom Leykis, designed to teach male listeners how to achieve the most sex within the least amount of time, effort and money. Followers are called “Leykis 101 Students“, and Leykis is “The Professor.” Though only men are true Leykis “students,” women are encouraged to listen to learn how men behave and think. Leykis’ 101 class is currently held on The Tom Leykis Show on Thursdays.

The content of Leykis’ show, while popular with listeners, elicits strong media criticism. His show has been described as “five hours of women-hating venom” hosted by “a peddler of misogyny and misinformation, a radio shock jock who promotes gross simplifications as facts and confuses shrill tones with dialogue.” Leykis, however, acknowledges he courts controversy to generate interest, claiming “this is a business, and my job is to get the largest number of listeners I can get.”

The Date: Leykis 101 students are cautioned against spending more than R200 on a date. Leykis believes that expensive dinners, pricy gifts, elaborate flowers and the like do not increase the chances of sex. Why R200? Because when you go to the ATM, it is the most common fast cash option.

If a woman does not “put out” (i.e., consent to sex) by the third date, a Leykis 101 student should “dump that bitch” (“DTB” for short) because she has no intention of ever doing so, according to Leykis.
Use a condom every time during sex: Men should be responsible for birth control and always wear a condom regardless of what the woman claims. Students never rely on the woman’s declaration that she’s using a contraceptive, says Leykis.

He instructs students to flush their used condoms down the toilet, but because this is sometimes inconvenient or impossible, students are encouraged to carry hot sauce to pour inside their used condoms. According to Professor Tom, several women have attempted to impregnate themselves with the sperm inside spent condoms to extort child support payments. Leykis advises men who use the ‘hot sauce method’ to “get out as soon as they hear a scream”, a probable indicator that the woman has tried to self-inseminate.

Whom not to date: Single Mothers: Leykis insists that some men have been ordered by the courts to pay child support to their former wives, even though they were not the biological father of her children. This, he asserts, financially ruins the men for many years making them unable to start a new life with another woman or enjoy the money they earn.

Women who use a cell phone during a date: Leykis claims such women do not consider the date important and are probably arranging a later date with another man.

Women in Groups: Leykis claims that they make sure no sex happens. This is especially true if a date unexpectedly shows up with an uninvited girlfriend, as they’re scamming for free food or need an excuse to leave, without you.

Coworkers: Leykis claims dating coworkers risks being sued for sexual harassment and leads to awkward working relationships. Tom does make exception if you don’t care about your job or wouldn’t mind quitting or getting fired as a result of dating a coworker.

Facts of life

Leykis claims that the more money a man makes, the more attractive he is to females. Leykis claims that “young and hot girls” are a natural substitute for Viagra and Cialis. Leykis also claims that until a student’s career is established, he should not have girlfriends. He often quotes empirical evidence as justification for not getting married.

Cell phones and dating

If a female answers a cell-phone call, or responds to text messages, in the middle of dinner, Leykis advises that the male should immediately get up and leave. He justifies this as follows:

  • It is possible that the caller is another man who she is going to have sex with when she finishes her date.
  • If the caller is one of her children, the man is already violating Leykis’ ‘no-single-mothers’ rule.
  • If the call is work related, and is deemed more important than the man now, it will always be more important.

Leykis believes if a woman deems a 101 student unimportant enough that she feels comfortable answering her cell phone during the date, she is not sufficiently interested in having sex with the man. Leaving immediately, he advises, would save the man a good deal of money. In contrast, he believes the man should always carry a cell phone on dates. Leykis’ logic follows that a man ignoring a woman for a work related call will actually make him look more “important and in control”, thereby drastically reducing the “waiting period” women observe before having sex with men they’re dating. Leykis claims that a woman will try to test a man, trying to focus his attention on her and, he believes, there’s a good chance that sex might be part of the attention-getting hunt.

Don’t answer the phone on weekends

Leykis admonishes his students against answering their telephones on weekends, giving the impression that they are busy and important people. Answering a woman’s calls (and generally being accessible to her) is not the way to do this, he advises. As justification, Leykis usually quotes what he believes is a basic rule of humanity: “we want what we can’t have.”

Checkout the full and complete Leykis 101 Tenents here.

Don not Marry (or Date) A Career Woman

Forbes.com published a very controversial story on 22 August by editor Michael Noer that provoked a heated response from both outside and inside our building. Elizabeth Corcoran, a member of our Silicon Valley bureau and principal author of the magazine’s current cover story on robots, sent in this rebuttal.

This article was so controversial the publisher and editor-in-chief, Steve Forbes, issued a public apology.

Anyway here’s some of the reasons found by social scientists as strong negatives to consider before marrying (or dating) a career woman:

  • They will be unhappy if they make more than you
  • Women’s work hours increase divorce rate (increase in men’s have no effect)
  • She’s more likely to have an affair with co-worker
  • Those with graduate degrees 1.75 times more likely to cheat

Rest assured I’ve had my fair share of experience with career women. Maybe the most frustrating experiences have been when my cousins or friends try to “fix me up” with a female friend of theirs. Whenever these women are career women, they are the most difficult people to pin down just to meet and get to know them…I have better things to do with my time rather then wait around for them.

Do not waste your time with this type of women. The question I want you to ask yourself: DO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT (SUCCESSFUL) OR DO YOU WANNA BE HAPPY?

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Being firm with women – Three Stikes And You’re Out

Men often give women a hard time because they are desperate and have the vain hope, the women will give them sex, if not today maybe tomorrow. In fact that wording in itself is a problem because men that think this way put themselves down, while putting women on pedestals. What I mean is that these men think they have no choice in what women they have sex with. It’s a constant pursuit and it’s also scarcity mentality.

A rule that I’ve seen mentioned by a few different people like Tom Leykis and other teachers in the seduction community is the three strikes and you’re out rule. This rule comes from Baseball, where after three pitches, and no hit, you’re automatically out and have to leave the playing field. So I have realised this is a very good attitude for men to have. It saves time and creates a very clear boundary for what you are willing to accept and not. In my last post I wrote about a woman who called me and casually mentioned being tired and how I dealt with her.

Let me share some more about her with you to demonstrate the games and bullshit we guys have to put up with. When I first met her at Moloko, she danced with me and grinded her ass on me and all the sexually suggestive moves you normally see in hip-hop music videos. She came over to my place last Friday night. And to make a long story short we never had sex because she mentioned it was that time of the month, etc. On Saturday night I had a big Spring party (photos coming soon) and she came over earlier and along with my friend Aretha. I appreciate this kind of willingness from anyone to help out.

What I do not expect is disrespect at any stage of a relationship. After some people started arriving she practically avoided me. And especially after my friend Berker, who looks like a male model, arrived she spent the rest of the evening almost glued to him. And some other people at my party made this same observation to me. And some of them actually believing she was with him, and not me. No I have to state clearly she was not with me and I have no problem with her talking to anyone because we are not in any sort of relationship, open or exclusive.

She, Aretha and Berker left for Moloko and I joined them later with another woman from my party. And strange things were abound. Firstly Berker took me to dance a few meters away from all the women. And he tried to fix me up with some other random woman, not to bad looking, dancing next to us. He left to rejoin the women from my party. And eventually we left early because she got some cramps (that time of the month). The next day she sends me a text message apologising for being such an ass hole, dancing with my good friend Berker the whole night, and she only did it because I act indifferent when other people are around and only seem to like her when we’re alone.

I learned the hard way not to become to possessive to early on. So when I meet a woman I will give her a lot of attention when I’m alone with her because I’m creating attraction and building rapport. And so when I’m in a public place or crowd I will never, ever place any demands on the woman. In fact I learnt from David DeAngelo to encourage independence in people actually brings them back to you because it shows very clearly you’re not needy and you have high self-esteem. So this was the third strike for me and she’s out…NEXT!

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