Monthly Archives: May 2006

Steve Martin’s Shopgirl movie review

Shopgirl Steve Martin It’s a study of three urban types, each of whom fits neatly into a cliché but the film’s wit lies in the grace and subtlety with which real emotions break down those rigid social roles to shape a bitter-sweet drama about people who must learn to tell the difference between need, desire and self-esteem. It’s smart and witty, an elegantly low-key film with a beautifully written script. It’s acted with an intuitive intelligence that makes it a very grown-up romance.I’ve been a Steve Martin fan from the start and I think “Shopgirl” is the best, most personal and considered work he has ever done on screen. Fans who loved “The Pink Panther” and those who cherish the madness of his TV work on “Saturday Night Live” may disagree but I think, now that he is in his 60s, he has introduced a mellow, philosophical note into his work. It’s more expressive and intimate, still going for the laughs but inviting us to linger for while to think about what made it funny.

Don’t forget that Steve Martin studied philosophy at university and his best work from “The Jerk” to “Father of Bride” to “Shopgirl” has reflected that wry intellectualism, that little pause in the comedy momentum in which his characters can reflect on who they were, what they have become and what they have to do next. He roots his best comedy in human frailty and indecision and there are few towns on this planet that reflect those qualities more vividly than Los Angeles. Martin was examined the spirit of the city and it’s people before in “ L A Story” (1991) and “Grand Canyon” (1991), but “Shopgirl” is the most elegant and poignant reflection on the city’s irresistible madness.

The film’s script was written by Steve Martin, based on his own novella that became a “New York Times” best-seller in 2003. It’s an urban romance, sophisticated and delicately ironic, that offers a precise yet nostalgic snapshot of what romance in the 21st century looks like. It’s basically the old “Cinderella” cliché dressed up in the latest Los Angeles style but Martin has deconstructed it for a new generation. Claire Danes, at her serenely beautiful and intelligent best, plays Mirabelle a shop girl who works in a department store for a modest wage. She’s an artist, living in a tiny flat, waiting for her big break. Her artworks are fascinating in that they rely on her finding exactly the right intensity of black against which her designs are set. She works intently on the black hues, polishing them to a sheen that is both elegant and dominant, suggesting that she is a girl who is aware of a sense of empty darkness within her, a feeling of incompleteness about herself and the world.

That empty feeling is relieved by the arrival of two men. There’s Ray (Steve Martin) elegant, rich and seductive who sweeps Mirabelle into a world of limousines and luxury, where he offers great sex and a life lived in superb style. Ray absolutely “gets” Mirabelle, responding to her art with insight and charm as he draws her out of herself and allows her to discover a new version of who she is and could become He’s like a really cool Henry Higgins, who enjoys creating new possibilities for Mirabelle and he loves seeing what she does with them. The real question is does he love Mirabelle? Or does he just love the sensation of having a great new protégée whom he can gently coax, promote and – in a sense – own. Does he love her for who she is or for being the person he can allow her to become? Is his fascination with Mirabelle a graceful form of narcissism, rooted in his own pleasure at having the power to change her or does he genuinely love the ability to change and grow?

Then there’s Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman) her geeky, abrupt neighbour, who has a nowhere job, little ambition and all the charm of dustbin. He’s clumsy, inadvertently rude and his approach to sexuality is very much like a hungry man’s response to a juicy hamburger – grab, hold and devour. He has two things in his favour. He’s the same age as Mirabelle and he desperately needs a woman like her to sort him out. Jeremy really needs Mirabelle, far more than he realises, and as everyone knows, neediness can be a powerful aphrodisiac. The interesting thing is as Mirabelle changes under Ray’s gentle persuasion, so Jeremy realizes that he too must change and progress in his life, if only to keep up with Mirabelle. He steps out from behind the protective shell of his nerdiness and he changes. That’s really what this film is about – finding the freedom to change within yourself and then discovering how the changes in you are met by changes in the people around you. The sad thing is that Ray, with all his fluency, charm and intuitive feeling seems unable to really change himself. He can initiate change and he enjoys orchestrating the change, but for himself he likes to retain the status quo.

Martin wrote the script but he wisely chose to let Anand Tucker direct the film, so that he could focus exclusively on his performance. It worked because he has never been more suave, charming or melancholy. It’s a really delicate performance but it resonates with truth. Jason Schwartzman is equally good. He keeps the farcical stuff going with great comic effect but he allows us to see how the geek we meet at the film’s end could convincingly change into an entirely different man. The star performance, for me, comes from Claire Danes as Mirabelle, who is so intuitive and so radiantly clear in her acting that she is fascinating.

The name “Mirabelle” is an old French name that means “of radiant beauty”. The fact is that Danes is not a classic, typical beauty. She has a pleasing face but not a gorgeous one. The beauty is in her eyes and in her ability to project emotion and sensation. She makes Mirabelle’s transformation into something wonderful but also poignant. She knows she will lose much by giving up Ray but that loss will help her define the different sense of happiness as she moves on in her life “Shopgirl” is a film built on the belief that nothing lasts forever. One must be open to every sensation and any shift in the daily pattern of your life because as the proverb says, “Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor” and if you cannot enjoy it as it comes and goes, you will miss out on a central fact of life.

Director: Anand Tucker
Cast: Steve Martin, Claire Danes, Jason Schwartzman
(104 min 16SL)

A Hot Mom after Mother’s Day

I’ve dated two women who had children. The first one in particular was a “hot mom” and as a tribute to her I’m posting a cool video clip I found on Goolge Video about a new movement called the Hot Mom’s Club. Jessica Denay is also the author of a new book, The Hot Mom’s Handbook which outlines their strategies. Hot meaning confident, and hot meaning empowered. I have to add while looking damn good.

Badboy on Confident Body Language

Badboy Lifestyle Seduction GuruLet’s talk a little bit about body language and how it relates to your attitude and confidence. We all know that people communicate with each other on multiple levels. But did you know that spoken words are just 7% of what we communicate? The majority of communication is done with vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, body language and gestures.All of these things and more make up our composite body language expressions, such as: Facial expressions, voice intonation, speed of speech, how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you move, and even our breathing.

You may ask why body language is so important. It is how we sub-communicate with others. This sub-communication is even more important that ever before, because society has created a link between our actions and how people feel. For example, when you are in room and you feel really nervous, everyone in the room will pick up that you are nervous by your actions, tonality, and speed of your movements.

Such things are very obvious, especially to children who are not preoccupied with speech as much as many adults. You can see when somebody is sad, happy, excited, honest, or angry. Look at somebody who rapidly moves his foot up and down. This guy probably can’t look anybody in the eyes and is sub-communicating that he is insecure. Somebody who is hunched over, with her feet together, is subconsciously trying to not be noticed at all.

We can find wealth of information about other people by their body language. In terms of seduction, we learn to read what females are saying on a deeper level. An outgoing woman will do the exact same to you; she could tell you a zillion things that you are projecting, just by your image.

Let me quote my girlfriend here: “I can see if a guy is GOOD IN BED, just by the way he walks.” That is so true. They can tell everything about you, just by the way you look. It comes from all those years of experience of guys hitting on them.

If you go out dressed like you do not care about your image at all, you probably don’t care, and women will notice this. On the other hand, if you go out dressed as a socially cool guy, you probably are a pretty damn smooth dude. As for the woman, this process of screening by looks and body language is a self-defence mechanism.

She really doesn’t want to hook up with some low self-esteem loser, or some boring guy who doesn’t know how to give her some fun in her life. So they screen you and try to find out as many things about you as possible in a very short period of time.

Imagine, if you were a HOT GIRL, would you give 30 minutes of your time to each boring geek that hit on you?? No, you would give him 30 seconds and then the “F#*& off” line.

This is because she already knows that he is a boring, lame-ass guy. But what if some super-ultra confident guy, who is well dressed, comes into a room, walks slowly towards a hot girl with a smile on his face, and starts a conversation with a girl? Would she reject him??

Exactly.

She would not.

Now let me ask you who the really confident in our society are, the ones with an attitude larger then life. Who are they?? Rock stars, company directors, successful managers, doctors, politicians…. etc.

Take a look at how they walk, how they sit, how they speak, and you’ll notice something really interesting. They are totally calm, like they control TIME. They are not in hurry. The way they move and how they speak completely radiates with super-confidence.

Lets take a look at what the most common mistakes are when somebody tries to pick up a girl:

  • Talking too fast (being nervous)
  • Talking too much (trying to impress her)
  • Not knowing what to say next (not enough practice)
  • Drinking (to become comfortable)
  • Asking too many questions (you create rapport too soon, but she doesn’t want your rapport unless you have attracted her first)
  • Body language wrong (hands connected, feet too close, shoulders down, leaning in)
  • Buying her drinks (trying to buy her over, or even worse, trying to get her drunk)
  • Not being comfortable talking with strangers (social anxiety)

Does any of this radiate with any confidence??? Hell no!! Take a look and see that every action here projects INSECURITY!!

Ok, let’s correct this poor body language together. Here is list of things that you must FIX…

  • Keep your hands out of your pockets.
  • Stand with you feet wider apart.
  • Never look down when you walk, look above the horizon
  • Stand with your chest pushed outwards
  • Keep your shoulders relaxed and back
  • Walk confidently and slowly with bigger steps
  • Take up lots of space, no matter where you are
  • Pay attention to how you dress
  • Always lean back.
  • Touch people when you talk with them (non-sexual), because you must create conversation on all levels, not just verbal. (Later she is going to be used to your touch, and that is perfect for the pre-sex stage!)
  • All your body language should be comparable in speed. For instance, moving with confidence is good, but it looks in congruent if you talk fast at the same time.

One more really important thing my friend would tell you, “Pick-Up doesn’t start when you approach her, it starts when you WAKE UP in morning!” and that’s so true!

Let’s move on to the subject of attraction:

In order to attract a woman, you must first understand why and how they think. Why the state of attraction exists, and how it happens.

The easiest way to understand and explain this is through something known as ‘Switches theory’. You know those on/off switches you have in your house for electricity? Now imagine you have 15 of them in one box. That’s an analogy for how our minds work. Women have switches such as “Is he attractive? Is he good at sex?” On or off.

Every girl out there has a different set of switches, because it really depends on their culture, their childhood, their beliefs and their age, plus a few other minor things. However, there are some common switches you must turn ON to all girls out there.

You must be:

–Challenging
–Alpha
–Interesting
–Unpredictable
–Stylish
–Not needy
–A good lover
–Humorous
–Capable of building strong rapport
–Secure
–Trustworthy
–Conversational

Now, those switches can be either ON or OFF. There is no value in-between… for geeks, it’s all off.

What happens when you switch on most of those switches?? Wow… she starts to be interested in you… actually… she starts to show IOIs (indication of interest). This reaction is totally normal. When she meets a guy who is funny, good looking, interesting, romantic, and not needy, she becomes interested in getting to know him better (read: sleeping with him).

Switching on these switches is what demonstrates personality to a woman. You can tell stories where you were romantic. You can hook her with interesting snippets of your life and make her ask you questions which will get you to reveal your romantic side. It doesn’t matter, as long as you flip the romantic switch to the ON position. Every story or routine you have in your arsenal is saying something to her (flipping switches.) When designing routines and stories, you need to first take a look at what you want to convey to her.

The easiest way to switch ON lot of switches is through good body language, behaviour, and a sense of style.

Let’s take a look at me for example. If you’ve never seen the way I look, take a look at my web page photo here…

Okay, let’s analyse this together… what do you think about this guy just from this photo? Here is what others have said:

  • He has a lot of confidence
  • He looks like some badboy or a really adventurous guy
  • Good looking (average)
  • He is drinking expensive cocktails, so he probably has some money…
  • Sex must be amazing with him
  • He is alpha; he doesn’t worry what others think.
  • He doesn’t look like some predictable guy…
  • Not so needy

Ok, guys, you get my point… I switched ON like 10 switches just by the way I look and behave. There are also switches I haven’t flipped yet:I don’t have trust, rapport, I am not romantic, interesting… and that’s it fellas!!!!That means 5 stories for 5 more switches. That’s like 5 X 5 minutes = 25 minutes to get a girl.Of course you can convey all those things through conversation, and that’s fine. But it will take 10X longer! This is the way it works for me, and I am happy.

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Meeting More Single People in a Natural Way

I’ve been more and more frustrated not meeting as many new women as I would like. Recently went to a Portugese Festival here in Johannesburg called Lusito Land and there must have been at least 5000 people there.

And suffice it to say I made about two good approaches and one that sucked because she didn’t even bother responding and just kept walking. My mistake was not being directly in her line. Also I had seen her earlier and hesitated!

So now I’m going to make an more active social life and go and do some physical things that I can believe will bring me into more contact. From this week I will go Salsa dancing every Thursday night at the Dance Junxion in Rosebank. Every 2nd Sunday I already go to stand-up comedy and need to start making a lot more approaches with the nice young women here. Every other Sunday (also twice a month) I will go tenpin bowling at a very busy mall.

The club thing is just not my scene any more. I found its almost a waste of time going out with married friends or people in relationships. They go to place and do things like watch movies at the cinema which allows for no oppertunity to actually meet anyone new!