Monthly Archives: January 2005

Speed dating virgin

Posted by on January 6, 2005 No comments

by Nomfundo Mbaba

I walked into Cubana, the venue for the speed dating event in Cape Town, and I immediately began to feel the butterflies in my stomach. It’s one thing going on a blind date, but going on blind dates with 15 men is a whole other ball game

That’s how speed dating works. A certain number of men and the same number of women have quick one on one date of five minutes or less. They chat, socialise and hope for a love connection.

Meeting the Potentials

On this night I was ready for anything. I approached my seating area and was relieved to meet two other women who would be dating the same men I would date. Caroline and Samantha are siblings. As a working single mom, Caroline doesn’t have time to meet guys, so trying out speed dating is the next best thing. Samantha is single too, but she came with her sister for moral support. Meeting a man would just be an added bonus.

On this date the three of us sat in our little area and the men would come to us; rotating until they had dated every women in the room.

It wasn’t until five dates later that my butterflies disappeared and were replaced with a mental block of: What do I say next? I have already asked the same questions over and over. And I have responded to the same questions over and over: What do you do? Where do you live? Is it your first time here? Blah, blah, blah.

“Was five minutes enough time to truly connect with somebody?” I wondered to myself.

Speeding ahead

By the time I was with guy number 13, I couldn’t remember who guy number two was and what he did for a living. My only saving grace was a card the organisers had given me at the beginning of the evening where I could fill out the person’s speed dating number (e.g. guy number five). I could write brief notes to remind myself of who interested me and write a big HELL NO next to the number of the person who was not to my liking.

Possible match?

I think it was guy number seven who interested me and made a lasting impression. He told me my boots were nice. He was the only one who noticed my new shoes or even made a comment. And because I am a shoe-aholic (one who is addicted to shoes), I was very pleased. We had made a connection. Not a love connection, just a shoe connection.

The following day when I filled out my online card at www.speeddater.co.za (doesn’t exist anymore so try www.smartdate.co.za instead) with my favourites, guy number seven was one of them. Even though I had made no love connection with anybody there, I was curious and eager to see who had chosen me. There were three “matches”. I had strategically cast my date net wide, so three matches out of 12 was not so bad.

Unconventional Success Story

This Speed dating thing turned out to be a not-so-bad move. I met a lot of interesting people and began to enjoy it as the evening went on.

I’ve told my single friends about it and I hope to go with them next time (if I’m still single).
Even if I did not meet a soul mate, I do have a success story. Guy number seven has become a good friend. He is still single, so if there are any single women out there let me know so I can hook you up with a very sweet man.

We recommend SMARTdate speed dating events in South Africa

Love Challenge to Help Singles

Posted by on January 6, 2005 No comments

Match.com, the global leader in online dating, today launched its 15-day “workout” program to help singles simplify their search for love in 2005.

The “15-Day Love Challenge” offers fun and realistic advice and tips for taking a proactive approach to dating in the New Year, and it provides a convenient starting point for the thousands of single men and women who will log on to Match.com just after the holidays.

“We call it the New Year’s resolution phenomenon — it’s a time when single people take stock and make a conscious decision to focus on finding a successful, emotionally rewarding relationship,” said Kristin Kelly, Match.com’s Vice President of Love.

The 15-Day Love Challenge takes the insights that Match.com has gathered from 10 years of dealing with the joys and frustrations, the ups and downs of millions of single people, and turns them into action.

“While we can’t take the mystery out of love and romance, we can do our part to help millions start the New Year off right by offering them a simple, step-by-step guide to dating and finding relationships that will add depth and meaning to their lives,” Kelly added.

The complete 15-Day Love Challenge can be found on the Match.com website at www.match.com/lovechallenge. Highlights include:

Make a list, check it twice
The New Year is a time to reflect on what you really want out of 2005, including the qualities you are looking for in a mate. Make a list of your “must haves.” Now read it. If you were limited to only two choices, what would they be? The fact is that many of us artificially limit our search for love based on arbitrary criteria that change from date to date. By understanding the one or two qualities that really matter to you, and not obsessing about the rest, you’ll expand your universe of potential great dates.

Jump in with both feet
Being proactive about your dating life is essential and also the most fun. There are several ways to throw your hat into the ring, from letting friends know you are okay with being set up (if you are okay with being set up) to posting or updating your profile on Match.com.

Fate happens
Call it fate or karma or kismet; but you can meet someone anytime, anywhere — in line at the supermarket, on the train to work or having lunch with a friend. It’s important to remember that people are attracted to and feel more comfortable approaching those who are enjoying themselves. So smile, relax, even flirt a little … you never know what fate might have in store.

Practice, Practice, Practice
Practice makes perfect. And sparkling conversation makes great dates. Take time to practice your conversation skills on a co-worker or acquaintance. Instead of matching someone story for story, practice listening, asking questions and showing genuine curiosity in their answers.

Have fun — it’s dating
Dating is supposed to be a fun process. While imperfect dates may seem like torture as they are happening, they tell you more about who you are — and what you want in a match — which will bring you one step closer to finding true love.

source: Match.com